Ephemeral brainwaves

Thoughts forming out of nowhere.. Never felt like I belonged anywhere.. I start to wonder why did I always felt so out of place.. why was I always scared to race.. Whenever you turned up I had felt like home.. Why do I still in those thoughts roam.. I felt like I belonged that's why I would give it my all.. only to be shattered after that fall.. Where did all my happy memories got sealed.. Why do my eyes so often gleamed.. Why is it necessary to feel like I belong.. Aren't my dreams enough for me for long..

I shuddered in the night while walking back home It was a dark silhouette that cropped up above this dome It took me a while to compose myself Realising that it was my own self I got scared of nothing else but my own shadow Which is what happens even in the comforts of those meadows How easy it is to tell someone to love themselves first But how can we stop fearing and put our demons to rest Lest they crawl back again in those dark hours On moonless nights when you are on all your fours Losing your hold on ground is not the only way to lose hope Rising high can also cut that rope Rope that holds you to sanity and away from delusions But what do you do when the shadows call you back to those illusions The fear is then not of losing oneself in the crowd or being tied to the unknown It is of finding your own self waking up in the middle of the night and walking back to the known

If not praise then atleast don't criticise me or rather ignore me.. Criticize when it's required.. If not support then atleast don't bring more hurdles to slow me.. Slow me when it's needed.. This I ask in thy name.. A prayer that I will frame.. Hope and smiles find way.. To enter my life each day.. How so tough the times may be.. Make my inner strength visible to me.. Not just a shoulder to rest upon.. Give me the freedom to cry when I'm torn.. All I ask is to not question my own self sufficiency.. And accept I am and would be enough even if others can't see.. If not strength then atleast don't let my weaknesses be hit upon me so hard.. Hit me to improve.. If not love then atleast don't let grudges being pierced like a sword.. Pierce me to remove..