Nothingness versus pain

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Questioning my sanity for how long I can't remember..
Shall stop blaming you and my instincts for leading me here..

The sense of blending in overpowers the expression of individuality..
While at the same time the mind wants to be unique and craves immortality..

Who knows what the time will bring upon us all..
But the inevitable pain and death shall befall..

No longer would you cease to exist or feel..
Darkness of the darkest hue would all around reel..

What it would be to know nothing at all..
Like going back to the time before you were born..

Just like not being able to find how the future will mend..
Like the books and stories you never found how they end..

It would be like all those heart breaks that felt like horror..
Only that you would no longer be able to witness even the terror..

Would then the mind crave to feel the pain even if it means to thrive..
Dying then becomes worse than living to survive..

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